a member

Ever since those posts I've made, the weight has lifted slightly from my shoulders. Although it has felt good like this, the weight came back. Ive been looking at the mirror every single time. I think of myself as ugly, disgusting, and a fat hungry pig who would not have anytime to stop eating. I would rarely eat breakfasts or dinners almost everyday that my parents and guardians noticed. They told me to eat and I just lie and say that I already did. I don't like to lie but for them to stop worrying about me not eating I had to. I want to lose weight. I wanna be pretty. I want to be the perfect daughter they want me to be. I don't wanna be a goat who eats a lot. I don't wanna be a pig who is fat. I don't wanna be judged by my body structure. I mouth for eating too much. I hate my body to gain a lot of fat. And for some reason even if I don't eat I somehow gain a bit of fat. And I hate it. I want to be skinny. I want to have a slim face. I want to be, what they call, pretty.