I guess I never really escaped from depression

Some days it feels like I survived, but never really escaped. The thoughts don't shout as loudly as they used to, yet they still linger in the quiet moments, reminding me how tired I've become. I'm grateful for the people and the things I have, but gratitude doesn't erase pain. I keep wondering what it would feel like to wake up without carrying this weight. I don't want people to pity me, I just wish someone would notice that I've been hurting for a long time. Sometimes the hardest part isn't pretending I'm okay. It's wondering if anyone would still stay if they knew I wasn't. I honestly just want to stay away from these people without hurting myself.