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Key: M - Mom I've been overthinking how I've been seeing things. Whether I'm truly in the wrong for what has been happening- why I cant say no, why I cant leave, why I cant bear to do anything by myself anymore without M (my mother). I can't breathe, I nearly cry every night, I feel like every time I look at myself all I can tell is that I'm suffocating myself. I'm a hyperaware person- apparently the scariest trait in someone that needs therapy: someone who KNOWS what's wrong and yet gets too stuck in it to be able to get out. I love M, dont get me wrong. I love her, I wouldn't want to hurt her. But.. she's overbearing. Ever since I reached an adult age (won't specify here), she's been even more overbearing. She's been making things complicated for me to learn how to drive, for me to get my college life going, to get a job, to get a LIFE in general. Explanation in short: She convinced me not to leave directly after I graduated from high school, wanted me to stay for 2 more years. So, I agreed. And now.. I feel like I'm in the right for how I'm feeling versus slowly starting to be convinced I did something wrong. There's no physical ab*se here- all of what I've dealt with has been her using humiliating statements against me and said things in front of other people ("She's naive, she's defenseless, she NEEDS ME") and I cant help but wonder if I let her see me this way, maybe I was at fault. Maybe I am overthinking things because I'm used to being hurt.