a member

Sometimes I think about how useless being abused has made me with dealing with my situation. I am not the only child here, I'm the eldest. But somehow I am the weakest most pathetic one out of us. Thats not how elder siblings should be, I know it. But that's how I am. Whittled down to something weak and shameful. I wonder if I will die here one day or if that small glow in my soul is correct, that I will get over this. Not everything, just this rough patch. This very rough patch that I was born into. JARONA!!!!