a member

I told him that I "never" read his emails he sent me, I lied, I know how much it means to him that I show that I still care. He put a lot of efforts in them, but in order for him to move on faster I had to tell him that I didn't and now... it feels empty that I don't get his stupid emails any more when I looked at them the moment I heard the notification, now hearing birds remind me of him. I set the notification from that email as a bird noise and I regret it now. I hear a small tweet from mother nature and I feel sent back. I wish he never met me at all, then me and him would't have to go this ever, it i feels like a huge bad memory at the back of my mind and so much more that happened ugh...