a member

Knowing you've met you're person but you could never be with them. When she has a boyfriend but tells you she's in love with you when she's drunk or high. Jokingly flirting that feels too real. Nuzzling further into her chest while her boyfriend makes promises of marriage to her. When she realizes she has feelings for you in the middle of making your graduation gift. When she'll strip in front of you because she knows you get flustered easily. When she touches herself while texting you then never brings it up again. Getting stood up twice in one evening the night you come back from the hospital because you overdosed. When shes making risky comments in front of her boyfriend. When she grabs onto you during a scary scene in a movie. Knowing she broke up with you so you wouldn't destroy yourself over her. Destroying yourself anyway.