Who would you love to reconnect with soon?

I'm currently in a relationship with my girlfriend who is trans and non binary, so they refer to as a boy or they/them. I completely respect their choices and I'm trying to be as supportive as possible. They were once my ex after dating for 5 months, and after they found out I still loved them, we decided to try again. It's working out so far, but my secret is that I'm always so scared they will break up with me again. I'm always thinking that if I become so paranoid to the point I want to break up, it's just going to make my mental health worse. I feel like me and them aren't working out too well since we never act like a couple around friends even though they all know me and them are dating. I feel so awkward showing affection to my bf around friends. I just feel like my bf is just acting like they love me to break up with me later on. And I have a big feeling once school starts again, they'll consider breaking up with me because schools gonna be stressful and a lot of work being put on us, plus finding new friends. And the fact that their parents are horrible to them, it makes it worse because they might be so pressured by their parents that they'll leave me. I just hate feeling paranoid 24/7 about a relationship. I just want to feel normal.