a member

my bestfriend haha we've been friends since grade 7 and we're sophomores now. we've only like been physically close on the year level we became friends because i transfered school the next year but we do chat every now and then. on our 5th year i think, we "leveled up" and he courted me. it wasn't a secret to our friends that we like each other so it really wasn't a shocker. but well, it didn't work. after that, there was mixed signals and confusion til eventually, we kinda stopped talking and til now, when we talk, it's just about academic and school life which i don't mind. but since that, i've been missing him (him as my bestfriend ofc, not as my fling) but i feel awkward na talking to him about it. and i feel pathetically sad because i'm so jealous of how he treats his friends there (we still do not go to the same school and he's like 4 hours drive from me) and the difference of how he treat me. he told me i'm his bestfriend but he's obviously closer to them than he is to me (figuratively and literally). i just feel pathetic lol because i'm so heartbroken over this. in the picture attached, those keychains were our matching keychains which he gave to me (the pink one, his is the green) when he was courting me.