Missing him

I admit I still miss him cause we did things but at the same TIME I FEEL REALLY TAKEN FOR GRANDTED AND SOMETIMES I DONT EVER WANT TO SEE HIM AGIAN OR I WILL CRY. Or scream or cuss i dont know it still hurts me bros older then me to yeah I got a typ but still that shi hurts alot and that's nothing not to forget its always their in my mind from the intimate things we did that I very much regret.!!!!