a member

I just realized that I am so much more fucked that I thought. I was abused in a residential treatment center (I made an anonymous post 2 days ago). The events occurred when I was 16. I am now 18. I will refer to the treatment center as 'TC'. The shit that the people at TC said to me is really messing with me. I was told I would never be believed. When I was super upset while at TC, I was fed up at one of the nurses complaining about how I was 'so needy', I told him "Why are you all so against actually helping us?! I'm sick of being treated this way, I got injured on the property and am being ignored!" He asked me what I would do about it. I said "At this rate, I'll sue your asses for - insert many wrongdoings-." He replied, "oh yeah, how will your mom ever pay for that? She can't afford to even see you. You can't touch us, our documentation has a different story than yours" When I broke and finally told my mother a couple of the terrible things that happened to me. (It has affected my life, I can hardly live a normal life anymore.) She doesn't seem to believe the brief amount of things I told her, such as the verbal abuse, shaming and degrading. I had Severe attachment issues over my mom and my dog. I was made to feel unsafe to cry, even in my own room, told to grow up, that my mom wouldn't be around forever. It made my fear and anxiety worse. My mom just said that our generation was babied, that it was normal for people to tell you to "get over it". I don't think she understood how afraid I was. How she didn't get the hint of how flinchy I became in that facility, how I suddenly did want to be touched. How I cried for her not to leave, and how I would start to cry when she had to bring me back. When I told her about this and blurted out "I don't think that sexual assault of a child is supposed to be normal!"... She just looked at me with indifference, shook her head and said "no, that isn't normal?". She left it at that, and walked away.