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Is this just me?

I haven't had a real friendship since elementary school most of it stems from the fact that I have been isolated throughout my life and now I'm a little bit too comfortable being alone. I wish had friends or people to talk to but I just get so nervous and nauseous whenever I talk to people or when I actually do get the confidence to talk to someone I gaslight myself into thinking i deserve to be alone.
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Is this just me? — I haven't had a real friendship since elementary… | HuniWhisp