wrong lifetime (you don't want me)

blue, maybe you were right for me. we just met again in the lifetime where you didn't want me. and i think that’s the part that kills me the most—knowing that the love of my life exists only behind a glass screen. we’ve never even met in person. for so long, i’ve been trapped in this digital loop, and the simple act of just standing in the same room as you remains nothing but a dying wish. how am i supposed to survive the quiet torture of staying close to you like this? why do i keep choosing to choke on the crumbs of your internet presence instead of just walking away? i don't care about the person you're with. i don't look at them. i only look at you, and it completely destroys me to watch you look at her with so much love, knowing i am entirely invisible on the other side of this screen. did you ever look at me and see a future? or was i just a ghost passing through your life until she came along? i am trapped in a nightmare of my own making, desperately hoping that if i stay long enough, you might finally see me. but deep down, i know the truth. you aren't blind to me. you just chose her.