Leave me, leave me not... Leave me.. leave me not

Too used to everyone always abandoning me. Changing me, or even worse simply disposing of me has made me reclusive. It's just so discouraging, everyone tells me. "You're not too much", "I'll always be here for you", "I won't ever leave you", etc and then they always do what they said they wouldn't. After this I truly can't help but leave others before they leave me first. I've beared the humiliation for long enough And I won't take more cruel ridicule of others using me for their entertainment. Because somehow I always end up being a toy for others. What's so amusing about destroying my hopes? And why must it repeat over and over again. From now on, I'll leave. I won't tolerate anything even if it makes my heart heavy and hurt. Because why must they always make so much fun of me. Belittle me. Why. Why. Why me?? Why ALWAYS ME WHAT DID I DO TO THEM,, how come I'm always too much and not enough at the same time., why does knowing me more always end up in loving me less. Why am I so hard to want in any way. Why am I not human enough Why am I so disliked. Why do they always leavez everyone. Must everything I hold dear disappear before me? Everything I touch is doomed to be torn down