a member

Ok so basically I was dealing with the death of my kitten and it kinda messed me up a lot since this was the third time a cat I loved passed away. It was circumstances I couldn't control or saw too late. ( I've since refused to even think of getting another cat and consider myself a curse) It basically led me to having a lot of bad thoughts and I started finding peace in sh. It became almost like a drug to me. would hide in my room and basically carve myself to distract myself from the memories. I had even held pills in my hand and just looked at them in contemplation. My mom kind of noticed and recommended I seek some help for it. I thought about it and I'm kinda scared low-key. Like my mom is already dealing with a lot. Imagine if I have to get sent away because of it? What if I have to take pills? What should I do?