a member

It was only three nights ago that I bawled in my bedroom. It wasn't even late. 9pm and my eyes were tear-blown. I thought over the recent interactions with strangers, co-workers, friends, and family. I would think of my past and my future. Who I know, and who I'll never get to. I thought of my life, and who I am. I felt exhausted of the constant uncomfortable moments within my life. I didn't enjoy conversation, and I felt sick of everyone, including myself. I couldn't sleep, and I didn't want to. Despite how I had felt, as if the world was ending or the water had filled the dam full, I no longer feel it. I feel good. Happy, even. I don't think of my past, or who I am. I feel comfortable and I sleep soundly. The only thing that rings the doorbell as I sleep, is how my emotional state switched so quickly, without any tell. I don't know how, or why, but I don't feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff, or as if I'm drowning in a river. Instead, I feel content with myself. I wonder how on earth such a change is possible. But I'm now at the bottom of the mountain, climbing back up slowly, and with patience I know one day, I'll reach the top. But before that day comes, I'm going to enjoy this feeling to the best of my ability.