a member

Im a trans guy, not exactly fully transitioned yet because of transphobic parents, and questioning being bisexual. Every relationship I've been in has always been for my body, and the fact that I still sometimes appear as feminine. Other times it was only so that they could say that they have a trans partner and not actually love me. But all of them have had one thing in common, and that was that I was always treated like the "woman" of the relationship. Always a bottom. Always the weaker one. Always the "more expressive and sensitive" one. Even if i was the exact opposite, I'd still get treated that way. I am not a bottom, I'm not weak, and I'm much more dry and reserved than expressive and sensitive. They only say this to fulfill their fantasy of having some cute little femboy as their partner. Which is fine, btw, but that is just not who I am. The bad thing about them is that they force me to be someone I am not. It is impossible for me to be in a relationship. Or even get a girlfriend, at the very least. All of my past relationships have been with men, and once a trans man like me. All have treated me like I've stated, and it's honestly gotten to a point where I don't feel attracted to them anymore lately. Now looking for a girl around my age that has a good personality and doesn't only like cis guys feels like finding a needle in a haystack. I know there are people out there like that, but it feels truly impossible. I don't like dating apps, and I go to a school where more than half of the people there are already homophobic, and surely transphobic too. Truly the only times I've found good friends and people is through my other friends and online stuff. My standards are literally so low, I just want someone that treats me like a real guy, but I don't know how to find that