How does it feel having narcissistic family?

(。･´д`･。) Hello, Im noonie. Im new here. For starters, what does it feel like having a narcissistic family? well, let me tell you all about it! I've been with "these" family for...since I was born into this living hell. All my life I was belittled, called a evil kid or malita, judged, bodyshamed, and...etc.. I was never allowed to speak or talk back when it doesn't amuse them. I was enabled to show myself properly... I developed a habit of not speaking when yelled at, hiding in a corner to hide, and just socially unable to show my true self. If I had to describe my family- I would describe them like these. Arrogant, ignorant, childish, immature, feeling all and mighty, knowy-all, and just hypocrites. Every word in the dictionary you can see when it says similar to the word "Narcissists" that's them. They wondered why I act the way I am and while not realising...it was from them. I want to leave, desperately so. I want to leave with my sister but still Im not old enough. And thr only thing keeping me alive is a tiny hope that maybe I can be more than those "ideal-models". I just need to keep my head low, keep quiet, stay calm, be good at school, study, dont study too much, dont play games, play games, enhance my hobbies, FOCUS ON SCHOOL... I just... I don't understand. I can never be enough and Im okay with that but Im still living in their roofs. That's all. Thanks for reading.💖