a member

Has there ever been a time that you reflect back onto what has happened to you in the past five years? As the famous question goes, "where do you see yourself in the next five years." For me, I never imagined i would be pregnant, with no family, no home and trapped in an toxic relationship to a man I never should have gotten into a relationship with in the first place. Grief has a funny way of making people drown on land and I was drowning for some time. Liquor consumed most of my day until I met this man. I now wish otherwise, I don't regret my baby. Infact this baby gives me hope, I just regret the circumstances in which I'm bringing this child into the world. Today, the father of my child tried to drag me and force me into the car and he kicked/kneeded me when I didn't want to. I have bruises all over me right now and I don't know what to do? It's like I'm in shock but I can still function enough to process what happened but not really... feel it? Or believe it? I don't really know.... all I know is this is going to get worse if I don't leave. I just have nowhere to go. I understand now what my mother must have felt when she was going through this with my biological father. She's so much stronger than me. I really miss my mom. She's still here but she's had a stroke and it's like the mom I need right now is not the mom that I have. I feel like a little kid saying this, but i just really want to go home.