a member

I don't know how I feel about them. I don't even know if I love or like them even. Don't get me wrong they're nice and dandy. They do somethings that make me happy and some things that make me wish that I can just move out. But sometimes I feel like I don't belong to this family. Like I wish I could just run away and forget about them. I recently got accepted to a university 3 hours away from them. And my mom has always been overprotective and overbearing. Like she didn't even want me to go out with my friends till I was in 9th grade. Even then they had to put trackers on me. I hate it so much. I have an older brother. And he so dependent on my parents. Everywhere he goes they need to be there. I just don't want to be like that. I just wish they forget about me. So I can be by myself. I have always loved when they left me home alone. Granted it only lasted up to 1 hour. And the most ridiculous thing about them is that they're excuse for doing this is that I'm a girl. My youngest brother who is 15 is allowed to roam around our town with his friends but I'm not allowed to be anywhere without them putting a tracker on me. All because I was born a girl. One thing that my mom said when I was 14 really rubbed me the wrong way. I was complaining that I didn't want a quince. I hate parties. I cant stand them. And I said something along the lines of "if you make me have a quince I will be frowning the whole time." And my mom replied with, "I will tie wires around your braces and force you to smile. You better smile. If you frown you will never be able to go out with your friends." I don't know how to feel about them. Sometimes I wish I could just block them forever, but that would be childish. And there wouldn't be a real reason to do that. I'm scared to have a boyfriend, because my dad has made it immensely clear that he have his gun on him. Granted the safety will be on and there will be no bullets, but that's still weird. And my younger brother has also said about the same thing. I don't know what to do.