a member

Hello everyonee! First time using this app because of one specific thing. Alam ko na I've told myself na I had moved on, pero it feels like a scar in my brain that I couldn't get rid of. Para toh sa lahat ng tao who are moving up as a grade 7th pupil, mostly for people pleasers and naive people.. !! Please choose the people you surround with wisely kasi it is affects you on how you grow up. I've had this group for two years whom I loved so much na ibigay ko tlgang lahat for them. Yes, we all had conflict and most of it was backstabbing. I'm not saying I was a good person, but I was full of sunshines, I really loved myself, I had a good self esteem and I was overly friendly and positive. I know that every action I did was genuine. Whether it is hatred or love. But ofc as a former people pleaser, I saw them as my real tropa, therefore I gave them everything, my time, my money, my things to borrow. But I never opened up to anyone, because I knew how they talk abt others that confronts them their problems with them. So tiinis ko yung pagtrato nila saakin, to the point that it became a personal issue that I couldn't share with anyone because I had no one. To the point that I slowly felt extreme resentment towards them and experienced heavy crisis fatigue, na ayaw ko nang pumunta sa school or eat every lunch to avoid hanging out with them. I felt like I wanted to chew hvm@n fl3sh (yall don't wanna know about what was in my mind every single minute) because I felt so hollow and angry that I kept crying everyday. I isolated myself, my teachers asked me why my grades dropped. They saw me as pick me-ish, that I had a pa-victim mindset, male centered, cringe, weird and etc... ofc masakit yun para saakin kasi I may had bad moments with them, but I never saw them as a bad person. So yes, I left the group and suffered alone (in my life), I have new friends, a fewer but with a matured way of thinking, but what happened will never be erased in my brain.