a member

Basically, I'm torn between letting things settle down and missing her so bad that I overthink every action she does towards me. I want to be considerate but the part of me that misses the 8-year long crush and 4-year long friendship keeps wanting to check in on her. Every time I see that she's online, I can't help but have an intrusive thought that says: "Hey, she's online. You should ask her how she's doing, maybe she'll reply and think you're considerate." Meanwhile, my realist but anxious thoughts say: "Don't even bother. She won't reply to you anyway. You're both better off not talking for now. If she wants to talk to you again, she'll go for the initiative. If you go first now, you might just make her uncomfortable because let's be real, she doesn't like you back." I don't know if my brain has problems but I've been having severe mood swings since we stopped talking. In both of these thoughts, I just laugh it off. I don't know if it's to cope or my body just doesn't want my mind to think that I care too much, but it's so annoying because I come off, to myself, as someone who doesn't and didn't care about her feelings. 0