a member

Im a 2nd yr student currently studying Computer engineering. I badly need to work cause we're struggling to pay off the tuition. I told my mom that I can just stop and work so I can save up for it. But she insisted that I have to go to school cause it'll be a waste... How come its a waste when you're out here loaning money just so I can enroll for this school year? I honestly dont want to have a lot of debt by the time I graduate. I also suggest that I can transfer to a public college school and just shifted BSIT since its still the path im going to, but she said I cant. Because school is still important when applying. That no one would accept an employee because they came from not so well-known schools. It hurts to know that, but Isn't skills what matters most? Im still not mentally ready to start working. I dont know why. Im scared. Scared of something I cant even explain. Im just afraid of people. But I badly want to work. The problem is just that Im someone who focus on one thing and thats it. So if its school, then I lock in on school. I dont think I can handle school and work full-time. I also dont want to do part-time because its not even enough for transportation, food, needs, and tuition. I honestly dont know what to do. Im trying to find alternative so they dont have to worry about the tuition, but they still want me to stay even if we go in debt. I know for sure that I will be the one to pay it all off. I dont trust their promises that next year, my sister will pay the tuition. I honestly just feel like a baby, even though im 21. I feel so helpless and hopeless. I dont wanna be stuck in this state. I truly want to move forward and lock in. My mind is just so tired. I literally transferred school because they keep complaining about the money. Its so hard to grow in my home. I always feel so down here. Like I cant do anything. Even though I can do something. I hate the way I am. I really wanna grow out of this mindset. I dont understand how others do it. But maybe I do, I kust dont know where to start. Im sorry if my words are confusing. Im really am just venting. Im trying my best here. Im just not mentally well right now. :((