Coming to terms that i will likely die alone

I started working at my parent's farm. Gonna be here for half a year, and im tryna get a police college scholarship in the mean time. admissions are next year and i really dont wanna be a pig so im thinking abt eventually getting a retail job to save up for a course i actually like. Im just saying that I've been feeling this aching loneliness for months, hell- my whole life. I'm a loser lesbian. i really don't think any woman would want me rn, or ever. I feel so unwanted. I'm autistic so ppl in general get weirded out by me too. I'm starting to just accept the fact that I'll stay single and learn to appreciate my own company more even though i would want to love so bad and receive it as well. It is what it is ig. but women though..