a member

I feel this constant need to be useful. I sometimes think of other people's problems and think about how I'd solve them, there was a time where I also cried because of other's problems. It's like the feeling of always being useless so you feel the constant need to help somebody in need even if it doesn't affect you directly. This feeling makes me feel like a tryhard each time we have to do something that collaborative in school. I grew up not doing house chores that much and for that, it feels like I missed out on some skills that I was supposed to learn in the process. Yes, I can do some, but not all. Also, the pandemic also brought me to not go outside a lot, so it feels like I don't have that much common sense left inside my head. Although I do, but the feeling lingers that I don't. In addition, when I don't get to do my part properly (in which I expected myself that I did), I feel utterly useless. I've told someone that they aren't useless, but it's easier to just tell it to somebody else rather than telling it to myself. Whenever someone replies me a thank you or any positive response at all to my own piece of advice or reassurance—I feel useful. (highkey just needed to clear my head of this thought cuz it's been bottling up)