Family (part 2)

Maybe mom dosnt like me because I'm not a good person. I wouldnt surprise me. She reptedly told me she was ashamed of me after what happened with that boy. Ashamed. Like I bring her shame with what I did. Like shed rather I wasnt her kid. Like how she feels guilty for bringing me into this world because of my actions Ashamed. The worse part is that I dont even think it was that bad. She's such a sweet person and it's hard to upset her especially that much. And I made her ashamed. And if I dont even feel guilty for it what does that say about me? Ive been on my school's drama team since freshman year. Sophomore year I did a piece with 2 other people. And one of the stopped showing up to school less than a week before competition I was then told he ditched last year's competition as well. I was furious I was heart broken I felt betrayed. I blew up on him over text. Me and my friends had a bit going on at the time where we said we would "skin" someone if they upset us but it was in a joking manner. And I said I would do that when I blew up over text. My mom found out some how. She said she was ashamed. Ive never felt bad for what I said. Maybe I am a bad kid. Maybe im a bad son Maybe thats why my father loves me Because I'm just like him I'm my father's son. And it wouldn't be better even if I was born a daughter Because being his is the last thing I want to be.