a member

So in recent years I've been curious if im not as nerotypical as I and everyone thought I was. First glance into my life I seem very normal, like im not hyper fixated on anything, im very orderly, my emotions seem the most stable out of all my friends. Years my friends joked how I must have ADHD, I just got monitored by teachers and settled on me not having it. Then a few years later autism floated into conversation and I did like little to no research but then immediately questioned every action of mine, but ultimately thought No. (After I mentioned it to my family and they laughed and said No as well.) My friend who definitely has something on the spectrum thinks I have autism, which i don't if its cause I got mildly bullied out of that idea but I just dont agree. Though, OCD is one I've been stuck on for a year and even when I had a therapist I asked her about it and she said she couldn't give a diagnosis but I might habe traits. My beliefs for me possibly having OCD or traits which I have looked into to habe an educated argument is Cleaning which stereotypes of OCD makes sense but its like I'll have people over and they move my stuff and im just constantly putting it back and cleaning, or organizing, sizes, textures, colors, daily use. Ive re-organized my desk like three times in the last month. But thats just perfectionism at its finest too, OCD is obsessively doing something because of paranoia like fear for if you dont. Every day every night I close my door a specific way otherwise I swear I hear banging, that door will not remain closed (in my mind), I fear someone being outside the door enless I close the door a specific way. Washing my hands is always a problem too, I need my body to be even feeling (ironically I like asymmetry) but Ill wash my hands and if the water reached higher one side making my wrist colder then the other Id grab it or rub the water off but then that sensation must be copied to the other wrist and it can almost become a cycle. Wdysa