I wish I could one day

I wish I could tell my mother and friends about everything I've been feeling lately, but I just know how she will react...and how my friends will ignore me. I am tired. I have been thinking too much, feeling too much, everything it's too much, and whenever I try to tell someone about it feels wrong. when I try to feel better I can't. and my mother makes everything worse, with her attitude, her words, how she treats me. but I'm still here, isn't that enough? I try not to do so many things, so I can be here. I just don't know why, what stops me from doing anything?