Im sick of people

I apologize in advance, i am not the same person when im not feeling well. Im genuinely so tired of everyone. Every single day im alone. Sure, i got 2 friends. My best friend and my crush. But my best friend is, admittedly, always in a bad state when i text her, even when she comes over something bad has to happen to her. Dont get me wrong, i love her, i want the best for her, but honestly i an just so, so tired of it. I just want to have a good time while i can have it with her. And with my crush? Well, shit, she's too busy and i kinda fucked it up so badly by telling her some stupid shit like 'im gonna stop asking you all the time' for a hangout cause its been 4 goddamn months and ive NEVER saw her irl or actually have a normal conversation with her. She is drier than the Sahara Desert, they BOTH are! I just want one normal conversation that's fulfilling to us. I know i dont have good openers, i know im not good at this social thing but goddamnit, i try! I guess my expectations are too high for people my age these days. Can i just listen to you talk or rant about something, please? I just want a friend but im too picky because i want someone unique, alternative looking near me.