Told my mom the truth. (My mental health J's read my other posts if u can, idk)

I told the I told the truth, I wish I never did. The truth hurts her, I hurt mommy. I wish I kept quiet I wish I told her it wasn't her fault even if it was. Fuck that look on her face. I want to I want to cry. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. I will never say the truth again. I'll never hurt you again with my truth, I'll give you sweet lies, I'll tell you, you never hurted me, I'll tell you I trust you. I'll tell you the words that you want to hear. I'm sorry I'm so so so sorry. I'll talk to you I'll say lies to you because I guess that's what you'll ever want to hear, for the truth will hurt you to much. Please don't let it hurt you. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry Im sorry for lying I'm sorry for telling the truth. I'm sorry for speaking. Please smile, tell me you love me, I hate that look on your face, mommy say you love me. I'm sorry, I tried not to make it hurt but it just did. I love you mommy, I'm sorry mommy, please smile. Please don't look at me like that, please look at my eyes. Why won't you look at me? What do you see? Do you still see me? Your sweet happy child, or do you see a broken girl, a girl you don't recognize? I'm sorry for changing, I never meant to. Please hug me, I need it please I need it. Don't look at me so coldly. I'll be good I'm sorry