a member

yeah, first of all, i don't even know why i'm like this haha. do you guys know that feeling when you really want to focus on your studies, but at the same time, you're also eager to have someone in your life—someone who loves you, especially because you didn't really get that kind of love as a child. there's this guy i've been talking to for a few weeks. at first, i didn't like him because deep down, i already knew how it would end. he'd eventually leave, get tired of me, just like any typical guy. and then he did. now i'm overthinking and questioning myself, wondering if i was the one who did something wrong or if it was him. i ended up spending the whole day thinking about it instead of doing what i was supposed to do. i hate how bad my attachment can get. i hate feeling like i need someone to love me just so i can feel like i'm worthy of loving myself. i hate feeling like i'm never good enough. i just hope tomorrow feels a little better.