a member

I’ve tried pushing away this thoughts of mine. I'm constantly aware that they are thoughts, but I can't stop my feelings that keeps on racing. Just how I'm task with something, I feel like I'm going to mess it up. I've searching online, filling myself with different perspective to somehow change this way of thinking. General would just say “you can do anything” and such. Human is responsible for rewiring their brain but what doesn't sit to me, is how. Whenever, I see people pursuing their life, like why can't I? when people tries to do a task, why can't I? don't get me wrong I received quite achievements in school but I can't seem to trust myself, I’d rather trust my friends or anyone, when I'm in charge of something, I feel panicked in my mind. This is surely destroying me because I can't start and do things now, I feel like messing up. I really think that I could be so much more without this thing wrecking up inside of me. I tried advices to not be perfect and it's okay to mess up, to not measure myself by the standard of others, or to do it scared, and that I am capable of achieving what I wanted or do for. But still, I don't know how to manage this. It's breaking me at some point that I can't explain.