im getting drained

im prefacing this with, im a system. my fiance is a system. we make it work. but recently this headmate as been front stuck and they just don't feel safe around anyone who isn't specifically one of our headmates, not even just me. THAT specific headmate. its draining. its so hard for anyone else to front and feel safe around her and no matter how many times she says shes aware of it being not okay she still gets upset. we physically have been unable to get that headmate into front and she (without meaning to) makes us feel extremely bad about it and it just. ughfg. Its so drajing and i dont know what to do about it. I feel like if i told her how i felt she'd lose her shit or just cry lile she always does when i tell her something that upset me. She always does i always have to invaildate my own feelins for her. I put every thing aside for her and still when i make a mistake it feels like everything else ive done is worth nothing. She told me once "it doesn't feel like you love me as much as i love you" all because i hadn't played Roblox with her when i literally stopped her from attempting suicide within the same week. Itsjust so tiring. I love her i really do but she's done this so many times but i dont want to leave her