a member

I'm a girl...I think. I really wish I was a guy. I've been trans before but I detransitioned because I didn't pass. For awhile I've been trying to just be a girl but i hate it so much. I'm just so scared to try to transition again because what if I don't pass ?? What if nobody sees me as a boy ?? I know people will accept me but I've built a life around being a girl if that makes sense. I'm also scared that if I ever decide to be intimate with someone they'll see me as a girl afterwards, I think that's what scares me the most. Please help, I don't know what to do anymore