a member

I have been bullied my entire life. I am always mocked and I hurt people for it. They don't respect me. They fear me and I see kindness as another attempt to get close to me and stab me in the back. I am often correct with that instinct too. People are horrified of me because humans should not be like me in their minds. I should have a limit or consider a limit but they don't realize I chose to be like this for survival and something compelled me. It's like I'm carrying the implications of death with me everywhere I go. I actually spoke to a man I care about today and he left when he realized I understand how to fight and kill. I don't want to fight or kill him. I was encouraging him to be capable of fighting like I am. Now he's scared of me like so many others I tried to care for. This world has become so lonely for me.