a member

Call the hospital today and the appointment is set for next year. A massive wait time because the triage categorized it as routine. It means the heart isn’t actively failing, but the delay is exhausting to think about. I am suspected of having tachycardia, and the doctor has recommended a follow-up at a specialist hospital. I went to the clinic today for the ankle. It isn't serious I swear. At home, the pulse was 89. In the clinic, it shot up to 135. The doctor checked three times, but the lowest it got was 115. It happens every time. Then I go home crying, the anxious spike, the immediate feeling of shame for taking up a bed and wasting their time over a minor injury. I do not want to go back there again. Medical institutions so scary. Later, a dull ache started near the center-left of my chest, slightly lower down. It fades when I lie flat. It rarely happens, but it's there. Maybe it was the sip of nes o mixed with the peach tea. Caffeine on top of a drained nervous system. Everything feels completely flat right now. I am tired of my body reacting like this. I am tired of the anxiety. There is nothing left to do but lie here.