life is rough

after my bf broke up with me, he said lots of hurtful things to me. he said that i was so hard to handle, i was being too much, i ruined his life, and that i'm such a sad depressing person. it really hurts me. i'm dealing with my mental health for almost 5 years now and i'm really trying my best to heal, but nothing seems to work anymore. when my bf kept talking about his feelings (like how he felt etc etc), i couldn't respond the way he wants me to. its my fault, i was being dry and cold, i tried to understand him but i just can't. i feel so heavy and i feel like i'm carrying so much responsibilities. my mind was too occupied with my struggle of my mental health and for my parents, i couldn't comfort him. when he got to a point where he couldn't take it anymore, he straight up said horrible things to me. I don't want to talk about what things exactly because it really really hurts. i take full accountability of my actions, and i really regret it. i couldn't explain it to him why i was being like that, he already blocked me. I don't want to do any of this anymore, it feels so tiring.