I dont know how to move on. And everytime i remember i cant talk to him i just want to kms

Last year I met a boy, "Vini," and right from the start of our friendship I already had feelings for him. The problem was that he said he was straight. Our friendship started during a really bad time in my life, and it felt like he was my savior, the person who was going to pull me out of that depression. Because of that, our friendship grew incredibly fast, and so did my romantic feelings for him. I used to flirt with him as a joke (even though it wasn't really a joke). I dropped some pretty obvious hints that I liked him, but he "never noticed." Eventually, I confessed my feelings. I was a complete mess. He told me everything was okay and that he wanted our friendship to stay the same, but that he didn't feel the same way... because he was straight. Over the next few months, our friendship had its ups and downs, including a few periods where we drifted apart. But he started acting differently. He became more jealous, wanted more physical affection, would cuddle and stroke my hair, and sometimes even flirted back. I was over the moon, convinced that he actually liked me. Then one day, while we were texting, I jokingly made a comment about his dick. He replied, "Want to see it?