a member

This is a short chapter. It's only meant to show the painful nostalgia in conflicting interpersonal relationships... Start... To write this more poetically than sad... try to tell myself that everything is temporary, people will come in and out of your life and teach you something. Usually I can accept the facts when they do leave; but recently I've lost so many people so fast, it hurts. I've lost my entire major support system. And I'm looking at the girl sitting next to me on the bus ride. God how gorgeous she is, she has had so many reasons to leave me over the 8 year we've known each other. Is she an angel in disguise; or is it just coincidence that I call her 'Angel'? I don't know whether to savor this moment, or if It's just another thing I will forget because of this pain. I can't help to wonder when our time is to expire. It's inevitable, especially when I leave the country in the coming years. I thought I lost her for good, but as I'm on a swim team with her again, she seems to forgive me. Her gentle touch feels healing to my trauma, and without even speaking a single word, she reminds me that I'm safe. I feel slowly, that she is helping me heal some part of myself that was so violently riped away from soul. She makes me smile so softly that I feel like the moment has slowed down, or that I'm remembering the past. I want to push her away, this doesn't feel right. I don't want to hurt when it doesn't last... I feel no better than my past. Life feels like a broken record, stuck on loop, but when she's around, time feels long, like I'm living in a time line of nostalgia. End... -P.S. this could be used as a turning point in the story? ... Or my acceptance of myself, realizing I am a likeable person, but after to interact.-