a member

I found this out from me and my friend play-fight a lot (It's weird to say, but that's just what we do) What I mean by that is like, we'd get physical each other as a joke, obviously we're not tryna hurt each other but it's just how our friendship works. His name is Leon, and tbh? He's not that bad looking, although I can't say much cause we're just friends (and I hate him/j) but I do have to admit he's a good looker. Oh and also, Ive never uh, been this way before? It's only until recently, I'm guessing that I've grown to like it? One time I was waiting for him at the park, texting him like "bro where tf r u" then he wrapped his arm around my neck from behind in an attempt to surprise me. ...... All I can say is that I liked that. Like I REALLY liked that, even though I looked alright on the outside and we just continued our hangout. I could NOT stop thinking about it. I thought it'd be a one off thing since he caught me by surprise. BUT THEN IT KEPT HAPPENING EVERYTIME. Like every single time we play fought I'd get a little excited. And can't stop thinking about it. (Oh boy) I know I'm fully heterosexual and I am not attracted to my friend. So I'm confident I'm not confused. Also the title is pretty vague, but it's not that I like choking ONLY. Hell. He tackled me once to the ground and my heart skipped a beat when I was defenseless under him. Ok. Pause. That sounds soo fuhin weird but IT'S WHATEVER OK? YOU GET IT, YK??? I've never told anyone this, and ngl, I ain't telling him either. So everytime he gets rough with me I secretly enjoy it. I tried to uh... Do it solo out of curiosity. but it didn't satisfy me that way he did? Like, maybe it's the way he gripped me? His hand???No idea. Also, he's the only person in my life (that's close enough) to do that shit to me, so I haven't tried it with other people. Then again... I'm not going up to my other friends and ask them to hurt me to figure myself out🫩 they'd be concerned. This was just funny enough for me to share. Peace out.