all I feel is nothing but regret and sadness☹️

Hi, I just wanted to share how I've been feeling these past few days since things are getting really heavy for me atm. Classes from my school just recently resumed at this week, and the moment I stepped inside our school and saw my classmates laughing together, that's where reality hit me— Have I actually done something valuable in my whole highschool life? Like, I'm already at my last year of junior highschool and I can't even recall doing something valuable like being the vice president of a club, eating lunch with lots of friends and other stuff. Like, did I really just waste 4 years of my highschool life just...being there and not doing anything??? I'm so tired of feeling this all the time yet having no energy to do anything at all. I think this is why I have only little friends. I don't get how my classmates are so tight-knit with each other, like they're all really close with one another. LIKE how?😭🙏 It's so bad that they have been like my classmates since 7th grade (I'm like in 10th grade btw) and I haven't even added all of classmates in my socials😭 I hate that I'm so awkward. I regret being so cowardly to do anything, I hate how I'm so lazy.I just hate myself overall☹️