a member

I began to notice that every single day is nothing less than a chore. I repeat every single day, I function normally I guess but when it comes to night, weekend, or complete holiday or summer. I absolutely feel exhausted for no reason at all, sometimes even a tiny vouce talking to me, I've grown so tired of all that. I kept asking myself if this is all there is to life, I feel like I have no will to do anything at all, whether exercising, eating, or even do some creative stuffs. Journaling? crosswords? drawing? music? none of that makes me enjoy my life. I’m just tired in all aspect from the lots of things I needed to do. I’m even more afraid of tomorrow with the same thought of feeling like this. I’m not trying to be pessimistic at some point, I would want to stop this all if I could. I seek at online on how can I fix this problem but then I found out more people were as confused. I don't have a dream or a vision for me apart from all this. I hated this, it feels so much like a routine, and my emotions are rotting inside, I guess no help can be made from this. I want a way out. I even wonder that if I could get out of this place or in this situation I could be happy and but what if I waste my life trying to get out of this and after I finally walked out and achieved the result, I’m afraid I will feel even more lost. I can't command everything and ecen my brain to make peace with me, don't get me wrong I wanted to experience happiness in this life, but all I know is a conventional path and I’m exhausted and overwhelmed. I feel like bursting because I can't choose to leave things right now. Shall I wait like always?