a member

I thought I had change but it seems like I was only avoiding the problems by only focusing on the positives. It didn't solve anything. It made it worse. It became bigger. The problem is that I am a avoidant type of person , the type who'll say the worse things in a bad time. This time..it all triggered with me getting pressure to doing something I don't want (it's not bad or anything but I just don't prefer it). And the other person rlly wants to do it with me. So after some pressuring I finally gave in. HOWEVER..when the day finally came to do it. I back out. I said no. they were pissed and disappointed. And I knew that all too well.. I should've had said it in a better time. Now I just blame myself for this is not the first time I had done this. I am truly am a bad person who can't even change.