a bet

There's something I've wanted to tell you guys for a long time, but I never had the courage to say it. A long time ago, my guy friends made a bet that I couldn't make a girl at school—I'll call her "A"—fall for me. I agreed, and they even offered me money. Looking back, it was cruel and immature, and I deeply regret it. The worst part is that, as I got closer to her, my feelings became real. I genuinely liked her, thought about her all the time, and tried my best to make her happy. Then one of my close friends told everyone I had only approached her because of the bet. He did it because he liked her too. I'm not blaming him, though—I was still the one who accepted the bet. It's been about a year, and I still feel guilty. I haven't apologized because the situation is complicated. I told some close friends the bet wasn't real, and they believed me. If I admit the truth now, I'll disappoint them, become the target of gossip, and it could even affect my position in our school organization. None of that excuses what I did. They're only the reasons I've been too afraid to tell the truth.