i just want friends...

i just want friends like every one else i say i never had friends but that's not true i had friends in that past but i feel like idk maybe because i was homeschooled for most of my life i can't really relate to people now (even in my family) i know im different i try not to be but i don't want to be a follower, any friend that i had made in the past has been a bad influence on me and i don't want to get in to that... but mostly (🚬🍾 🥳) .... but im not like that i was bever like that i did to look cool but i hate it ended up telling my mom everything i hate lying to here it physically hurts me... anyway .... only good friends i had throughout the years where online friends, my cousin mostly, and the one friend that my mom set me up w shes nice and were like the same person but .... we can almost never hang out because she has school... and i already graduated (online) ..... so there's that ... but even though were close i just want someone like me someone i can listen to rock with someone i can play video games with till it's 3 in the morning or even sleepovers... because ive never had one before idk bye...