Maybe I was the problem?

I still am trying to figure out if my ex was actually bad to me. I constantly feel doubt myself on it despite my friend saying what they did was wrong. She broke up with me and got back together with me multiple times over like..1-2 years lol For context they're now dating someone who during our relationship she saw as a "sibling" who I willl refer to as V :) and her as X. A long time a go me and another friend were trying to comfort X because she was crying in a hallway and couldn't/wouldn't tell us why. Then suddenly X just got up and left. I did not immediately go after X because I assumed they just needed a minute (I'm diagnosed neurodivergent for context lol) instead I got yelled at by V for not following her. Anywayy, throughout our relationship(s) I constantly felt like a worried parent because she was alwayss stressed (not from me). I was terrified that I'd mess something up and make it worse for her. Id literally scan a room to make sure X was okay if she wasn't next to me. She never really communicated (like anything) what she needed/wanted...so I was scared I'd break one of her unknown rules. (Theres more I'm just trying to keep it short) Towards our very last segment of dating... Anytime I would lightly mention I was in some sort of pain (because I get the occasional amazing nerve/joint pain) X would basically say "you don't know anything about pain {insert xyz injury they have+like how much it hurts}" like every single time. Basically you can't be in pain/yours isn't valid cuz I'm in pain! They'd also grab my legs when I was stimming (kicking/swinging my legs fast) because something good or exciting was happening. So they'd physically stop me from doing that.. Then still claim neurodivergence themself + constantly point put when they were "stimming" they'd even give a reason why like.. "I'm so happy, (thus) I'm stimming!" While jumping around. I don't know- maybe I'll make another confession lol, pls help if you can.. Or something :(