The real world

Life's been a roller coaster, but mainly just the downs I've felt like this you about a year now I don't really know how to express it either When people ask 'what's wrong' I just say l am fine because even l don't know. I smile and laugh when there people around but feel empty and hopeless when l am alone. I don't know what to make of life no more. I lost the person who truly loved me for me. My girlfriend dumped me because of l state l was in. My best friend stole my money. I got into drugs heavy drugs. Started drinking heavily just so that ,that smile l have when l am with other can maybe just stay a little longer. Well that's life l quess.