I hate some of my classmates I hate them I hate nearly everything at this point

I am so so tired of pretending I'm FINE in front of my classmates, in front of my friends, in front of my family's in front of everyone, I am not fine, even if I am I don't act like I am, why am I so messed up my life isn't that bad,? my classmates keep trying to ragebait me and most of my close friends got transfered to the other section at the start of the school year execpt 1.i dont like how some of my classmates sometimes stereotype me because I'm different in a way from the rest of them, I don't really like my school but I don't want to make new friends since I'm not really extroverted anymore, I swear some of my friends are just as messed up as I am if not more, I'm scared for myself and fkir them because they are one of the few things that are preventing me from becoming even more messed up, no one else can tell I'm not fine just them, and I should seriously stop ranting to them especially one of my closest friends who I have been friends since she joined our school in grade 2,im a bit worried it might affect her as well. And my family has some problems or drama but specifically with my dad, my family broke apart because of him, him and my mom separated now and we don't like him anymore, I have other family members but I don't want to admit I miss him in front of any oof them especially my mom because she would get mad at me, and I don't want to grow up anymore because it just piles responsibilities on me ontop of everything else, I miss when i could be young, i miss when I could talk with my friends for hours, I miss when our friend group was fine before some drama that happened, we moved like nothing happened but the friend I mentioned earlier talked to me about how the friend group is falling apart and I noticed it as well, we talk less but were older now ig were more busy with homework.