My issues/problems im going thru rn lolll

So school started again. I have no friends expect 1. I dont want anymore bc im scared I'll move away again, and if I do I'll loose everything again and again. I'm afraid of what my thoughts are becoming. I crave comfort and saftey but thats all gone. I feel like im ragebaiting myself by having this friend. She doesnt know whats going on with me. And the other problem is my guy best friend of 4 years. I recently confessed to him again after telling myself I didnt like him. But he helped me when I needed it the most and I truly care about him and he makes me feel happy. He said he didnt feel the same, that he stopped liking me after I moved. I love him too much. I hate myself rn. How could I be so stupid he has no reason to like me or care about me at all?! Im just causing myself more pain. Maybe I told him because I just really needed someone. I just love him so much, shit well he doesnt. Nothing will change that. I miss my friends so much. But now I only have myself and my stupid ass thoughts. Every freind I had made me feel safer. But its all gone now. I hate school. I hate How loud my thoughts are. I hate my face. I hate my hypersexuality. I hate my trust in others. I hate it. I miss everyone and I dont have control anything.