a member

Ever since I was young, I've had fear and panic when talking to people. Social anxiety, or something like that. I don't know. A few years ago I met my friends, and after graduation we went to different schools for different reasons. We still talk occasionally, support each other, hang out, and other things, but I feel less and less like I'm part of that group. I don't know the reason, I don't know how to start conversations, I don't even know how I managed to become friends with them. They're so unique, they have their own humor, their own problems, their own style. I don't even know how to act. I don't feel like I can talk to them anymore, or go out with them, nothing. I've had a rough time since graduation. I don't have any other friends, I don't really get along with others, they talk to me but never for very long or they make me too uncomfortable because I don't know what to talk about. Now that I can't be with my friends either, I feel lonely and very anxious. I don't want to lose them. And I know I probably didn't explain it well, but I really don't know how to talk to anyone. I don't know how to express myself either. I'm tired.