I'm not sure.

Well, I don't know how to start this. I'm new to this app so I don't really know what I'm doing. So lately, I've been showing signs of my troubles to my family and I'm not really sure but they're not really trying to help me. And honestly? They told me that if I can show that I can help my self, they'll offer me help. It really confuses me so much that they're like this cause I have no idea with the problems I am going through and it's giving me a lot of pressure especially with the school work and the internet influence I have gotten myself into. As much as I liked being outside of online, I really like it in my space. I've entered an internet influence phase whereas I post what I feel about especially AU's. And if I back out now, I don't know what I'll do next. This feels like it's my only coping mechanism aside from using an erasing for pleasure (I'm a masochist). I've realized how life has been affecting me lately to the point that I had question my existence and I don't know how to tell this to my guardians/parents. I have only told atleast two of my closest friends because I'm scared that if I tell too much people, they'll get affected too. I don't know what else to put here so uh, yeah.